A few months ago, I dated a woman who said she was deaf. Right away, questions popped up in my mind, like how different she might be compared to other girls, how much extra care she got from other people, and how “delicate” she was. Later, when I saw her, my jaw dropped at how beautiful she was. So I learned a lot from dating a deaf girl. I’ll call her Melissa.
I made many assumptions about what a deaf woman was like, but I was smart enough to keep quiet at the restaurant we went to on our first date. I thought I’d need an interpreter of sign language, that we couldn’t communicate, and that she was like a China doll, fragile and emotional. Was she part of some” deaf community” I’d never heard of? Treating her like ai would any other woman and having a little more patience turned out to be all I needed to do.
What are the misconceptions there about dating a deaf girl? Are deaf girls disabled like someone in a wheelchair? How should men treat deaf girls on a date? Is it okay to take her to a movie if she’s deaf? Have a look at these answers.
#1. Please Don’t Yell at Her When Talking
A 2010 study by the National Institutes of Health concluded that only 10% of the hearing impaired or deaf used sign language as a way to communicate. Many deaf people are born with hearing, then lost it after an illness.
The majority of deaf people can read lips. So when I met Melissa and shook hands, I got excited looking at her face and body and her cherry-red hair. I talked quickly and excitedly to her, forgetting she was deaf. She smiled and asked me to slow down when talking so she could read my lips. I had to adjust, and it took a while, but I finally could talk at a pace where she could understand what I said.
#2. New Technology Helps Deaf People Hear
Doctors developed a surgical procedure for cochlear implants that can help deaf people hear better within the past ten years. However, keep in mind that cochlear implants do not make a deaf woman hear and a person who isn’t deaf, so be patient and talk slowly, and expect her to ask you to repeat things you say.
If you still have difficulty communicating, you can use text messaging as a way to communicate. However, if you keep a few simple behaviors in min, you may not have to text at all:
- Look directly at her when talking so you can read her lips. Avoid turning away or looking down, even when revealing something personal.
- Talk slowly and deliberately. If she can read your lips, she will understand your meaning by the words and your facial expressions that match your feelings.
- Don’t show frustration. It will kill the date, and you can lose her forever. I became impatient for a little bit but kept the smile on my face regardless. Once I started talking slowly and learning to wait for her response, we understood each other better.
#3. Learn Sign Language
Less deaf people use sign language, as I said earlier. However, you and your date still know extraordinarily little about each other. Having the ability to “speak” in sign language will make your date with a deaf girl go much more smoothly.
Imagine when speaking to her that you say something she doesn’t understand, even when you repeat it several times. But if you were able to talk in sign language, you could bridge the gap and make it easier for her to understand you.
Knowing sign language and speaking slowly and deliberately will help you avoid dreaded silences you might have otherwise. Besides, she will love the fact that you went out of your way to learn the language just for her.
#4. Dating a Deaf Girl Builds Character
There are limits to just how much she can adjust to dating, so you’ll need to change some habits. On my first date with Melissa, all I wanted to do was get to know her better, which meant that I had to slow down my speech and wait to see if she understood. I learned some basic sign language like “thank you,” “you look great,” “what would you like to order,” “do you like the food,” and a few other phrases. Europeans can routinely speak 2 or 3 languages, and signing is just another language. It was easy to learn and didn’t take long at all.
I didn’t know I could be that patient with someone, and I showed the right amount of empathy. These are great qualities to have in life, whether you date a deaf girl or not. The experience builds character and makes you a better person.
Final Thoughts – My Date
When I treated Melissa just like any other girl, I made her feel comfortable, so she reached out to me, asking me to repeat. I admired her intuitiveness since, after a while, she understood me much better. The first hour should be set aside to break the ice; when you’re patient and spend a few minutes in her shoes, you’ll know what she’s going through.
I signed to her I’d take her home at the end of dinner, but Melissa didn’t want the date to end. I didn’t know if I made her feel at ease enough for what happened next.
“What is your place like,” she asked as few women asked me before on a first date.
I tried to stay composed and reply to this gorgeous woman with ease and aloofness.
“It’s um, it’s nice. Cozy.”
“Is it a man cave? Would a woman like it there?” she asked with a sly smile.
“Could you repeat that?’ I asked, turning the joke back on her since she’d asked me to repeat it over dinner.
Melissa laughed the hardest I’d heard then. So I took her to my car, and we drove the short distance to my messy apartment because I didn’t expect to take her home that night.
My first experience dating a deaf girl was a success, and to this day, we talk to each other by text and even go on dates now and then.