You think men use homemade male sex toys in the movies only, but one day…. It might happen to you. You are in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night. You are all alone, and you are feeling so horny it almost tempts you to rub yourself against the coconut tree. You want to bust your nut, but you did not bring your sex toys to your holiday. What do you do?
Whether you are straight or gay, this one is for you, Lover Boy. You can get that jizz flying with some homemade sex toys. It is not rocket science, and everything you need is just around you or easy to purchase.
1. Pillows
When you are too tired and too lazy to get up, look for towels or fruits, use the pillow on your bed.
It’s so simple, put your cock in between two pillows and ride it like it was some sweet pussy. The friction of the push and pull will be enough to have a great orgasm.
2. Roll of Tissue
It’s an easy decision, and any hotel, even a seedy motel, would have a roll of this.
Remove the cardboard in the middle of the roll, and that’s it. Put your cock right through the hole, tighten it with your palm based on how tight you want it. Go up and down, and the material of the tissue will provide the sweet friction while you control the pressure.
Then you end by wiping off the cum from your hand with tissue paper.
3. Towel/ Face Towel
This will imitate a pussy hole. You will need a towel, a rubber band, and some latex gloves. If you were a medical practitioner, these would be easy for you to find. Maybe for late shifts when you are all alone, too tired to sleep, and too lonely for anything else.
Lay down the glove on the towel, with about an inch of the open part hanging from the edge. Then roll the towel, so now you have a rolled-up towel with an open glove in between the folds. Gently pull the one-inch glove to fit around the edge of the towel, fitting it around, then put a rubber band around the towel.
Now put your cock inside the glove. Is it tight enough? You can adjust the roll of the towel. Now you have a homemade pussy to hold on to your cock. Milk it dry, and right after, unroll the towel and wipe off.
“I came so hard using the makeshift towel pussy. The only thing wrong was I inadvertently used my sister’s towel. I had to wash it off to remove the jizz I wiped off.”
4. Fresh Fruits
“Honey, shall I feed you some bananas? Or would you want to bite off some watermelon?”
Yay!!! Some of you may find it strange but believe me when I say fruits are great for our body. It contains all those vitamins and minerals, and it is handy to use when you’re randy.
You can go wild with the banana peel. After eating the fruit rich in potassium, save the unbroken peel for some loving. Then, you can heat it in the microwave–to make it warm, but not too much that will burn both the peel and your banana when you use it.
Pretend your cock in the new banana, move the peel up and down, and hmm, isn’t that wicked?!
Still, on good sources of potassium, the following fruit is the watermelon! This time don’t take out the flesh of the fruit. Instead, drill through a hole into the flesh, big enough for your cock, and small enough that it would be tight. Then you can push in and out until you get your happy ending.
Because watermelon is significant, you can refrigerate the rest for the next day. Don’t freeze. Your watermelon will be too hard to ‘penetrate’. Besides, you wouldn’t want frostbite on your cock, would you?
5. Vegetables
If you enjoy being entered in your back end and you don’t have a dildo to use, let us go healthy and use vegetables instead.
A gay friend likes carrots, but you can also use cucumbers or eggplants. They are almost the same as anal butt plugs. I love carrots because of their tapered end. It is a sweet surprise to start with the small end and get the bigger part towards the end.
The cucumber is tricky because of its rough skin with indentions, but why not when you are eager to experiment? It’s akin to using premium condoms. I love the eggplant, too, especially if it’s young and firm. Those characteristics refer not only to my preference of men but also to eggplants.
Dare you?
The most unusual thing that was used as a makeshift pussy was seafood.
Crab? No, sweet boy, squid.
Is it cooked or raw? Raw is better. Clean it well and pat dry. Choose a size that’s about the size of your cock or more petite. It becomes your masturbation sleeve.
Clean it well. Otherwise, the black ink will get on your cock, and you might panic when you see it. You would think someone has cursed your cock.
So, do you cook it for dinner after doing your thing? Why not? Clean it again and then cook. Waste not, want not.
What is the best kind of lube?
Water-based lube if you are using sex toys. It will not ruin the material of your favorite sex toy. Do not use, however, for toys that go up the anus. It dries up, and it would not be a smooth operation from thereon.
Oil-based lube, like baby oil or Vaseline jelly, is not to be used for sex. It breaks down latex condoms and can cause irritation in the pussy.
Silicone-based lube has a silky feel and is best when you are going solo. It does not get dry and can sustain you until your happy ending.
Hybrid lube combines water-based with a dab of silicone. Although it may be in small quantity, the silicone makes it a silky-smooth experience on both hands and cock. In addition, they don’t dry up fast, so it can get you till you cum, and it does not cause too much mess on the sheets.
When you are in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night, all alone and feeling randy, you can use alternative lubes. For example, baby oil is a good choice if it’s just you and your hands. Or, you can opt for olive oil instead.
We cannot predict when our horny hormones will go berserk, so while preparation is vital, in this case, flexibility is the answer. Think beyond the normal, be daring, and get that happy orgasm you crave for.