When he was my boyfriend, we just couldn’t keep our hands and other body parts off each other. It has been 5 years into our marriage and the struggle to keep things exciting is real. When there is little or no sex at all, we feel isolated and disconnected from each other. I’ve come to learn that sex or Sexually-Satisfaction is not just a physical thing as I once thought it to be. As we grow older, it has become a form of physical intimacy that is more connected to our emotions than our libidos.
Here are a few reasons why sex is not fun anymore:
- Time has changed our bodies. We now have love handles that are not as hot and exciting. Boobs are not firm anymore, and they seem to go southward. Our libidos may have also been affected because of age and change in weight.
- Too much of anything, even a good thing, can be well…..too much. Sex-wise, we have been there, we have done it, and a whole lot of it. Let’s face it, how many times have we fallen asleep before the other has finished? How many times have we said the line, “Not tonight, I have a headache.” I’m going to be honest and admit that we like getting off by ourselves than having actual sex. It’s much faster and actually takes less work.
My husband and I experienced this sexual rut a few years back. Because he knows that between the two of us I am the sexually-curious one, he gave me the task of reviving our ooomph. Just so you know, I didn’t let my man down, not only did we revive it, but it has also never flat-lined since then.
How to get the sexual oomph going
We are visual people who are attracted to beautiful faces and bodies. No matter what age we are, we like our favorite movie actors because they are gorgeous and sexy. Let us resolve to be as fit, as healthy, and as sexy as we can.
If cosmetic surgery is your thing, go ahead and do it. Meanwhile, I prefer to work with nature by going to the gym, running, and watching what i eat. I used to not like going to the spa as I thought it was a waste of time, but now I regularly go for my beauty routines. Frequent massages maintain a good blood circulation so our skin can be more youthful-looking. Of course, I get all sorts of wraps to firm it. I also have facials to minimize aging blemishes and get that after-sex glow.
I wear clothes that are fitted for my age (I’m not telling), secret features to keep the breasts up, the ass firm, and the waistline savvy. A few months after i started keeping fit and pampering myself, my friends said it took 10 years off my age.
Being sexy is more than just the body. It’s also sexy to keep the mind active and fun. We’ve both had our jobs for a while, and there was nothing new to talk about on that topic. But I often read a book, watch a movie, attend a seminar or even take classes on new skills and hobbies. And then, we’d get to discuss this in bed. It sounds normal, right? My husband thinks that my sexiest part is my brain which is actually a good thing. To be honest, my IQ is indeed bigger than my boobs (they’re cup D, au naturel).
Make sexy traditions and honor them
I know what you are thinking – traditions are equated to boredom, and we are trying to keep that word out of our bedrooms.
Every first Friday of the month, my husband has the serious task of trimming my pussy hair. I have stopped having it professionally waxed in exchange for the extreme pleasure of watching my husband drool when he is up and close my vajayjay. How’s that for tradition?
Every month, we take turns buying sex toys. We have a wide range of costumes, dildos, strap-ons, vibrators, butt plugs, sex dolls, cock rings, handcuffs, and the collection is growing. I watch him play, he watches me play, we play together. Once or twice, we even play with others.
Watching porn is a good tradition. It doesn’t always lead to sex, but it usually does the trick. There is something incredibly arousing about looking into other people’s sex lives. Talking about porn, we also make videos of our Sexually Satisfaction. Sometimes we watch it, sometimes we don’t. A few times when I am out of town, my husband takes a picture of himself while watching our home-made sex videos as he plays with himself. (It’s sooo hot)
Make sex different
In as much as we honor traditions, we also try to make it fun and different every time. Different toys, different positions, different partners, and different venues.
We like to role-play, especially unexpectedly. One time, I told my husband to meet me up in an exclusive club. I purposely arrived late wearing a low-cut, body-hugging short dress that showed more than what it hid. I had been working hard to maintain my fit body, so why not? While it was not something I would normally wear, it was a night of being different and exciting.
I sat on the stool beside him, and opened with, “Hi, I’m Julia (fake name, snicker!). Are you Rick? (fake name, double snicker!). I don’t recognize you with clothes on. You always sent me those nude photos of your gorgeous body.”
Husband, oh I love him so much, he plays along, and says, “Show me your tits so I would know for sure you are Julia.”
And just like that, I pulled up my top for a quick look, and there was a collective gasp from the people around us. He dragged me out and we humped like teenagers in the parking lot.
Bringing in different partners is hotter than it sounds. It started when we were watching porn, and I asked my husband whether he thinks a professional prostitute would be more skilled in bed than a normal person.
The following week, a hot male model (the term prostitute is not only illegal but also degrading) joined us. Even though I still prefer my husband’s touch, it did feel good to caress a fabulous, glorious, and ripped body. I felt his moans and groans were too theatrical, but his cock was huge and that’s all that mattered.
We take sex seriously but with an open-minded approach
Oh, we do take sex seriously, which was why we do all we can to keep it alive and kicking. With kids in the house, work schedules, and all the changes in our bodies, sex had to be taken seriously to keep us sane.
We spend money, do research, even travel far sometimes just to keep the sexual flame burning. Not all our kinky toys work out. Not all our sex games are satisfying. A few have even caused body harm that required hospital visits. Once, we were reprimanded by a police officer when he caught us making out in our car in a secluded area near the park.
It was the funniest thing we’ve ever experienced. We laughed like crazy. We didn’t blame the person who bought the faulty sex toy. We didn’t cry when we were reprimanded. We simply laughed it off. Proof that good sex is not a make or break situation for us.
Keeping my husband sexually happy is a joyous task. If he is happy, then I am too. If I’m not able to do this for us, then it means I don’t value our relationship anymore. It means I don’t value his happiness and satisfaction as well. It also means I don’t give attention to my own needs.
You know what happens when you get to this stage?
- Infidelity happens. It’s different when we both agree to play with other people. It is cheating, in my book, if he has sexual relations for Sexually Satisfaction with another people without my knowledge and consent. This may happen if he is not turned on by my body anymore, and finds a more attractive, sexier and younger woman who is more than willing to do anything for him.
- We let our bodies go. When we continue to be sexually active with our partner, there is still that desire to stay fit and look our best because of course, we get naked and we don’t want our partner to see Mrs Dumbo, instead of Mrs Smith (get it, Mr & Mrs Smith?). So when we stop having sex, we usually don’t mind how we look simply because no one else gets to see our naked body.
- We disconnect. I am not the kind to get mushy, but a good orgasm makes me want to hug and kiss my husband as we fall asleep. When there’s no sex, a vital communication tool, then our non-verbal line gets lost. In the long run, even the verbal communication disappears.
Sex or Sexually Satisfaction is absolutely beautiful on all levels. It connects me with my husband both physically and emotionally. It gives me pleasure and release. It also keeps my husband Sexually-Satisfied , and when he’s happy then I am also happy.