A very special friend of mine Nigel and I have been talking about how far we would go in a real sexy threesome after sharing with him Chris’s post about it. And in exploring our boundaries, he got a little freaked out. He wrote me this note.I wanted to share it with you and got an approval from Nigel to post it here.
Enjoy the reading as I was doing!
“Hi Mia, I wanted to share a little bit about me tonight: I can be a humble and agreeable person for sure. And I like trying new things. But deep inside, I am also super competitive, have a big ego, a need to be respected, admired even, I am gritty, stubborn and strong willed, I’m confident with things that I know about, and have a need to be in control.
These are things that have driven me in all aspects of my professional and personal life. I am also very self aware, and maybe to the point of having some insecurities too, but I am comfortable with my flaws (especially since there are only 1 or 2 of them 🤣). I’m a fun-loving guy, with lots of guy friends.
But while I love spending time with them, I have never thought of any of them sexually. I don’t have any male gay friends. I don’t avoid gay men, I just find that generally, they are not my kind of people.
I adore and admire YOU. You are beautiful and smart. Your sexuality and openness, your sense of humor, your strength, your kind heart, thoughtfulness, your self confidence and independent disposition.
You have helped me to enjoy new experiences and I really love our connection. I think this goes without saying, but I am very fond of you.
I originally thought to do this 3-some, because it sounded exotic and exciting, but mainly because I would like to please you. Originally, I thought, ok 2 guys in a room, both focused on Mia… uncomfortable, but ok let’s try it.
What turns me on is giving pleasure, but when I really think about it, that stops with you. I want to make you feel special and satisfied. But I don’t seek to pleasure another guy.
You asked me a few days ago if I could ever fuck another man. And now again if I would like to fuck another man. 2 different but similar Qs I think. This Is a new thought for me, and upon reflection, I find it interesting about myself that I did not shy away from it immediately.
I would rather fuck than be fucked (as I wrote back to you), and I think I actually could fuck another man in the right circumstances (I never would allow myself to get fucked… unless it were by You 🤣).
But to be honest, I do not think I would really LIKE to do either. In the heat of the moment, who knows I guess. Getting my cock sucked with you there could probably be exciting. I never thought about that before a few days ago either. That kind of turns me on and I wonder if I might like it, but I would not suck a cock, if that makes sense.
I liked your story, but I saw myself in it as the one getting his cock sucked. And what’s upsetting me, is that in your fantasies, I’m afraid that you see me as “Chris”. I could be reading this wrong. But Mia, I just want to be transparent that I will not ever be the one in the stockings and panties, or getting humiliated (like Chris), or getting fucked by another man in any situation. That does not turn me on.
I don’t think you “went too far”, you can ask me anything, and I’m definitely not offended, in fact I was very turned on to be asked such an extremely sexy question.
But I was just disappointed to hear that you wanted that for me. And of course this all goes back to my ego that I wrote about above… Not about you asking.
Why don’t we just steer clear of the 3-some talk for a little while ok? I won’t close the door on that totally. I think a 3 or maybe even a 4-some could be fun.
But maybe 1 step at a time though? At this point, I really just want to be with you. I hope you feel the same.
Your Nigel”
This led to some frank conversations between Nigel and I. And one thing that I’ve learned over the years, is: the better the lines of communication, the better the relationship, and the better the sex will be.
Trust and real intimacy comes from feeling ‘safe’ sharing your thoughts and your feelings, whatever they may be. And following this discussion, I shared some private things about myself with Nigel that I had never talked about with another man. It was so freeing! And through these open and honest discussions, our relationship has a deeper bond than ever before. We trust each other with our private wants and our insecurities too. And that is a strong foundation in a relationship with a lover.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below, I would highly appreciate them.