I have a group of close friends, and my best friend, Jackie, is now divorced from Rick. We’ve always had a magnetic attraction to each other, so I wondered if it was okay to start dating someone your friend slept with? I held off Rick’s advances and hints we should hook up because I didn’t want to date a married man. Now that he’s single, I’d love to get together with him, but I don’t know how Jackie will feel about my dating her ex.
I once started dating a Taurus man, Steve, who was my friend’s ex-boyfriend. At first, my girlfriend was put off because I was dating her ex, but after a while, she didn’t care and was glad to be done with him, and we stayed friends. But now, Rick is my friend’s ex-husband, so I didn’t know what the ground rules were for dating a friend’s ex-husband.
It’s not like I am dating Rick while he’s married to Jackie. But to be honest I wanted to! I saw Rick a lot while he was married and every time, we’d all get together I’d see Rick checking me out, his eyes staring through me and giving me chills. I wanted him so bad I used to have erotic fantasies of the two of us in bed, rolling abound naked and full of lust.
I did some research and read online about other women in this situation. What I found out helped me come to an immediate decision.
Can You Sleep With Someone Who has Been With Your Best Friend?
The answer might be different for guys than for women. If a guy is dating a married woman, he thinks he’s helping to “rescue” her. He sees himself as a Knight in Shining Armor,” taking her away from what is often a physically abusive situation with her husband.
But I would have slept with Rick because I wanted to satisfy my sexual fantasies. I’m not the kind of woman to sleep with anyone, but I cannot deny I have a strong sexual appetite.
I spoke to Jackie because I didn’t want to lose her friendship. I think this, too is different for men. I would rather keep my friendship with Jackie and lose the chance to have sex with Rick. And I didn’t want to be fucking him in secret either. If we were going to hook up, I wanted it to be out in the open.
Feelings For A Partner Stay Even After They Break Up
After I graduated from college, I began dating a male stripper, a hot-looking man named Dale. I went into it just for the sex, even though Dale had dated a girl I knew from college. There was no emotional connection between Dale and me, so I assumed my friend would be okay with it. I waited up until he got off work at night, and he’d be super-horny after working for women who wanted his body and wanted to suck his cock and didn’t mind fucking him in front of all friends. He’d come in the door, and I’d be waiting for him, wearing sexy outfits to tease him. We fucked all night until the sun came up, then fall asleep, exhausted as the day started.
Janice, Dale’s ex-girlfriend, and my friend took me out for coffee one morning and asked me how it was going with Dale. I didn’t want to give her details but told her it was going okay. Then Janice’s face changed to sadness and her eyes started to tear. She admitted to me she still had feelings for Dale.
I loved my time with Dale, and we were only “friends with benefits,” but the fact that Janice had feelings for Dale even after their breakup, soured my relationship with him. We weren’t emotionally connected but despite that, I broke it off with him.
Be Ready For The Drama!
If you decided to start dating a married man or dating a married woman, be ready for emotions to run high between the ex-partners. Jackie and I went out together one night and after a few drinks, she spoke candidly about her ex-husband Rick. She said she knew he always had a thing for me, that she wasn’t blind to it, and then said I could have him if I wanted him.
She was a little drunk when she said it, so I didn’t take her at her word. But as girls’ night went on, she became bitter talking about Rick. She said she hated going through the divorce and wished they were still together. She kept asking me if I was attracted to him, to try and trap me. Then she started to cry. I felt awkward and wondered if Jackie had read my thoughts? Did she know I was thinking of getting together with Rick?
The next day Jackie called me and apologized for last night. I told her she had nothing to apologize for. Then she told me she had absolutely no feelings for Rick and that he was free as far as she was concerned. I felt relieved, and I knew she meant it.
Final Thoughts
As a grown woman, I hated the idea of sneaking around just to start dating someone your friend slept with. But I couldn’t think of any other way. I loved my friend and didn’t want to hurt her. Yet my deep sexual attraction with Jack didn’t go away. I didn’t know what to do.
Then Jackie told me she was going away for her job for two weeks. An opportunity now presented itself. I was physically attracted to Jack, but not emotionally. I knew he felt the same. I picked up the phone and dialed his number.
He came over that night and I fucked him in over a dozen positions. W visited each other every night after work either at his place or mine. I’d never felt such a magnetic attraction to a man before, except when I was dating a Cancer man, with whom I had powerful chemistry.
I had gotten Rick ut of y system in those two weeks when Jacke was away. I realized it’s almost impossible for me to be dating someone my friend slept with, and the urge to sleep with Rick was gone after Jackie came home.
Emotional drama, jealousy, and losing a close friend are what you have to face if you start dating someone your friend slept with. For most people, it’s just not worth it, even if he just wants to have you as a friend with benefits. His ex-partner might still have feelings for him, and she’ll make you feel like you are dating a married man or dating a married woman if you are a guy reading this.
Before you go into a potentially toxic situation, ask yourself how much you care about the person, and if you plan to build a lasting relationship with him. Listen to what your heart tells you and be brave.