Do you think it is possible to make women like anal sex? I have always been very open-minded about sex. I want to experience anything and everything. I have never personally suggested anal, but some of my partners did ask for it, and as long as I was up to it, I always said yes. But one of the best sexual experiences I had was anal, and it was not even something planned. It was spontaneous—and wow, it was spectacular!
This guy was great at oral sex. He knew what to lick, suck and bite down there, and he could easily make me come. It was one of those rainy days when we were lazy, just lounging around, and he reached for my vajayjay like a starving man. Finally, when I was all spent and barely breathing, he gave me a wicked smile, propped up my hips with a pillow under, and then he was inside my anus. It was dirty, kinky, beautiful, and just absolutely hot. I didn’t think I could come again, but I did, and it was explosive.
Anal sex with the right guy (with the right size of the penis) and the right moment is fucking hot!
Sadly, in a survey done in the U.S., only 30% of the respondents have had anal sex of all the women surveyed. Furthermore, of those who have had it, a mere 30% enjoyed it.
The majority of the men, according to the survey, want to try it at least once. The top reason being that it is taboo, and something forbidden is meant to be tasted. Another reason is that anal sex denotes power over women in the most 50 Shades of Grey way.
Why Do Women Try Anal Sex
I did my informal survey, asking friends about their own anal sex experience. But, of course, my friends live such sedate lives, with just a couple of kinky ones worthy of mention.
For those who have had anal sex, it was mostly to please their partner who wanted to try it. So, they figured they might as well be the willing hole, lest the partner finds a more willing and available hole.
One friend I worship as a Sex Goddess likened anal sex to a perfect ending, like the cherry on top. She never goes home without it. It is like a delicious ending to an already delicious process.
Why Women Don’t Like Anal Sex
A former friend (I blocked her after my informal interview about anal sex) sent me a GIF after our conversation. It said, “Assholes are for assholes.” Wow, talk about ass-hate!!
Here are the top reasons:
- It is uncomfortable. The anus is meant to expel matters out and not meant to allow anything in. When the guy’s penis is big, it can even be painful. For me, the size of his penis is a significant consideration. I have had one with a huge head, and we tried it, but it was not meant to be even with the lube. I was the one easing my hole onto the stick, but the stick seemed to bounce off the hole. It just refused to go in. The angle going in also matters. The wrong angle up or down can cause sharp pain. Forcing it in can tear up the rectum and might require medical attention.
- It can feel degrading. This is not a personal issue for me, but the survey says women associate anal sex with rape, and while I disagree with the comparison, I think in most porn movies, anal sex is portrayed along with chains and whips. Then, of course, the men’s concept says anal sex is the best form of submission.
How To Make Women Like Anal Sex
Women say they are willing to try anal sex with a steady partner (no first date hook-ups) because trust is essential. They want to trust that he will take out the penis the moment she feels uncomfortable.
The top tip to get your woman to like sex is to BE A TRUSTFUL PARTNER. And you have to stay true to your word, too. If she says, pull out the troops, then you have to get out of there.
Here are a few more surefire tips to get her to like it:
1. Be clean and safe.
Don’t put your penis in the vagina, with or without a condom. Instead, put it up her ass and then returned to her vagina. Now that is a big ew. However, bacteria can transfer from one place to another, so stick to one hole and go for it.
2. Right timing.
I will only do anal if I have had my body movement. I have read that some women had feces that came out during anal sex, which is just a big turn-off. I make sure I don’t feel full or bloated when I have anal sex.
3. Train for it.
I have to admit before I had my first anal experience, I had had plenty of practice. I once had a boyfriend who bought me a double dildo, and we played with it so many times. He liked to watch me masturbate with one end in my pussy, and the other end up my ass. Or you can try a butt plug to get used to the sensation of it.
But if you don’t have toys, you can try your fingers. Then when you are ready, you can ask your partner to use his fingers, which I assume are more significant than yours, so you take baby steps toward feeling comfortable having something or someone inside your ass.
Part of the training is researching watching porn if you like it or talking it out with your partner. For example, you may want to clarify to him that when you say no during sex, he has to stop. Training for it refers to physical, mental, and emotional preparations.
4. Use a lot of lube.
I am a very wet and slippery person. Hence, my first anal experience, which was unplanned, used my natural juices, and again, let me gush how extraordinary that experience was.
Otherwise, be ready with a tub of lube. Some guys use their spit, but I prefer lubes because it glides and makes the entry smooth and seamless. And once inside, the lube is still there to alleviate the friction. One boyfriend even had a lube shooter so that it could shoot lube up the hole itself. I think it was an excellent investment.
5. Make and keep us relaxed.
It will take a very patient guy to give the best anal sex experience because you cannot rush it. You have to think about the whole experience for her and not just rush through it like a quickie. There has to be a lot of foreplay, and I like to come first – whether by oral sex or masturbation, or vaginal sex – before I have anal sex. That way, I am more relaxed and not in a rush to have a happy ending.
6. Best positions for anal sex.
- Woman lying down, face down. The woman can be lying on her stomach, then put a pillow under the stomach part. Then you can lay on top of her and put it in. This is okay, but not for a long time since obviously, men are so heavy, so it would not be pleasurable for too long.
- Woman lying up, face up. The woman can be lying face up, put a pillow under the butt so it would be up high, then you can kneel in between her legs and go in like that. I love this because it is the right height and angle, and I love to watch my partner’s face, too.
- Woman kneeling, man gets behind. The woman can be kneeling on a sofa, preferably with a back she can hold on to or protect her when you ram into her. The man can be standing up, holding on to her waist to have better control during the sex part. Men prefer this position because they can push the penis totally in.
- Woman on the lap, face forward. My best preference is to sit on his lap because I can also touch my clit and play with my vajayjay. But I like to get into this position toward the ending when I am so ready to come.
How Anal Sex Can Benefit Your Relationship
There is no guarantee that it will. But when you, as partners, can openly communicate about your preferences, fears, and feelings, it is a good step in the relationship. It means there is trust, honesty, and kindness. Anal sex, like any good sex, is about giving and taking. You try to please your partner, and your partner does the same.
Finally, if you think you are ready for anal sex, here is my conclusion: The best time to consider or try anal sex is when you feel secure in the relationship (he will not tell others that you are kinky and porn-ish). And, the best time to have anal sex is right after a good orgasm. That’s right, when you are most relaxed and satisfied, your muscles, even in your anus, will naturally be relaxed and more ‘accommodating.’ It takes a giving partner to give you that big O before you do the big A.